Whoever You Are, Thanks a Bunch

Recovery program seems to be working, you’re still an asshole, but a repentant one.

The payment is almost certainly related to a law signed by Mr Schwarzenegger in 2004 offering “taxpayer amnesty”, so that the very wealthy could set their taxes straight without risking fines or jail. The deadline for applying for amnesty was April 1, 2005, so any settlements would probably have been made this year and could cover several years of earnings.

Once an asshole always an asshole, eh?

Executive Assistant of State

America acts in the world like it is leaderless or bi-polar.

If you wonder about that assertion, then all you need do is look at death and destruction atround the globe, and wonder: where’s this country’s leadership? Who’s in charge? The president? The vice president? The secretary of state? Congress?

The neocons (who obviously had Iraq’s number from day one) (yeah, right) use to loooove to talk about cutting off the head of the snake, Hussein. Yet they never quite managed to accomplish this.

The snake head that runs this country is either missing or slumbering. How is it that this country’s diplomatic corp can be so easily intimidated at the negottiating tble by a pip squeak of a dick-tator in North Korea? Ethiopa (land of the starving) apparently has an army (who knew?) and is making moves on Somalia and Darfur, and while Bush would rather clear weeds than attend funerals for dead presidents (Reagan, Ford), Rice is running around like yet another animal with its head cut off (squwak!), accomplishing fuck all.

Just setting the military forces up shop in Iraq so they can do their usual business and then taking a vacation is no way to run a country or a war, son. Did you smoke too much crack back in your youth, and did it rot your brain? Abu Ghraib and other atrocities committed by American troops are commonplace, under-reported, and would this happen on the watch of a steward who gives a shit?

With their legacy of international tumult, poorly played brinksmanship, theft by proxy of the treasury, the leaders of the homeland ™ today make all of us look (yes, democrats too) to the rest of the world like a rogue nation which would rather arrogantly elbow it’s way to the trough like an 800 pound pig.

The credit is all yours, pal, I hope you fucking enjoy it. Hisotry will be kind and the footnotes will read you were a fucking retard due to drugs and alcohol.

As for Condoleeza, if she wants to be invisible, she’s doing a heckuva job. Her legacy at this stage will undeniably be the most innefectual Secretary of State this country ever produced.

Maybe her title should more accurately refelect her job? Let’s get it changed to “Executive Assistant of State.”

Sure, she logs the air miles like a champ, but what has Condi acutally accomplished? Was her goal all along simply to fly free for the rest of her life?

Mission accomplished!

RIP Fuckhead

This putrid chancre-sucking turd wanted to be president so bad, he was ready to bend over and take it from all comers.

Since he was at least smart enough to now nobody would ever elect him (most of America mumbled a collective “Gerald Who?” when the chosen one’s name was announced), he accepted what would be for him a “no-brainer,” a deal he could certainly live with: pardon Nixon for all crimes he may or may not have committed (yeah, baby!), and screw the American people, the Constitution, and the Rule of Law all in their collective asses.

With a razor blade tickler.

And yet some people can actually find the words to praise this dead fucking asshole like he was some kind of statesman. Yeah, right. Had he never accepted that sweetheart deal, he’d have been long ago forgotten- excepting maybe as “Mr. Betty Ford.”

What a jackass. Asshole. Asswipe. Freakenstein.

I spit on your grave, Mr Asshole president Who Was Never Elected I.

L-R: Ruinous Rummy, Our Asshole, and Self Dealer

Resume Padding Can Get You Hired

What about those 15 years of experience in the financial industry? According to documents obtained by Money from the New York State Banking Department, Ridings’ first job in the financial services industry was his brief time as a broker at Morgan Stanley in late 1998. The documents also say he was a day trader for two years, and worked at subprime lending firm Equity Funding for one year before joining GuardHill.

Piss poor performance can get you noticed.

And Trump Mortgage has fallen short of Ridings’ earlier forecasts. At the time of the company’s launch, Ridings predicted the company would complete $3 billion in loans in 2006, much of it in residential lending. Now Ridings says, “Trump Mortgage anticipated doing close to $1 billion in residential mortgages, but that figure may not be reached by the end of this year.”

Taking bets on how long he lasts not that he’s been sussed.

Have a Coke(tm) and Fuck Up Your Life

these multinational corporations give millions of dollars to schools so that their districts and vending machines exclusively carry their goods. In reality, however, it comes down to one big clever marketing ploy: In the end these big corporations have hooked kids on their products while fooling people into believing they are virtuous corporate citizens because they support education.

Smoking lobby, meet the soda lobby. You kids should get on great.

Mutually Unbeneficial

A great, wonderful article that puts into words what I’ve been thinking for sometime, that:

“The mutual fund industry is now the world’s largest skimming operation—a $7 trillion trough from which fund managers, brokers, and other insiders are steadily siphoning off an excessive slice of the nation’s household, college, and retirement savings.”

Legal theft? Ya, you betcha.

Hey, get your fucking hand out of my pocket!

Here’s one other telling excerpt. Why haven’t regulators gotten involved in the fee/commission controversy yet?

You can also compare past fees for different funds before you invest. For example, if you had put $100,000 into Putnam’s Small Cap Growth Fund Class B Shares and held it for the past five years, you would find that Putnam would have charged you $13,809 in fees during that time. Vanguard’s Total Stock Market Index Fund, on the other hand, would have charged only $1,165 for the exact same investment. —Byron Perry

If She Were Really a Psychic, She’d Have Seen it Coming

This felchingly fat fuck makes a buck off the suffering of others. Yes, they come to her willingly. But she (and others like her - yes, I’m looking at you John Edwards, and you James Van Prick) shouldn’t take advantage.

{Sniff} Poor Baby

Murderer Eric Rudolph, he of the abortion clinic and Atlanta Olympic bombings, whines about being aprisoner.

Hey, douchebag, it could be worse. You could be in Guantanamo. So be happy your fucking ass is white.

If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

Asshole.

Charity Begins at Home

And as this article clearly shows, in Canada, it starts by stuffing your fur-lined pockets with cash-ola.

That MADD Canada absorbed >80% of their received donations on ‘administrative’ <wink> costs should come as no surprise.

The US-based organization has been picking the pockets of citizens here and buying jewels, fur, and champagne (oh the irony)  almost since its founding.

Not so much a charity as they are party planners.

If I recall correctly, Candy Lightner was bounced out because of a financial scandal over a decade ago. The cunt.

Between these yobbos and the United Way, it’s now possible (and convenient) to literally  give until it hurts (your sense of decency).

Supreme Court are a Bunch of Pussies

The phrase “this ain’t a court of justice, son, it’s a court of law” was never truer.

That a pot smoker got sentenced to FIFTY FIVE YEARS IN PRISON, effectively a life sentence, for possession of cannabis is fucking ridiculous and that the Supreme Court pussied out on hearing his case- and many other cases apparently (it’s been noted that these carbuncles have been very work-shy in the last year- the Clarence Thomas influence no doubt)- just goes to show, well, something.

That they’re a fucking bunch of assholes is certainly one of them!

This isn’t cruel and unusual punishment? Consider for the sake of the argument it is, and then combine this with what is happening in Gunatanamo, Iraq, and the last time I went to the airport I was subjected to a cavity search (and I wasn’t even flying anywhere!), then you have to wonder. Are we now subjects of a secretive realm and no longer American citizens?

Who is terrorizing whom?

Just, like, a question man.

Redistribution of Wealth

But the small fry’s that are squeezing out millions in small change are far outpaced by the big goombahs scooping the cream right off the top.

Audit Says FEMA Squanders Katrina Aid

How did we get into this mess? Doesn’t the executive branch know what sort of controls need to be in place to manage money well? They should.

Instead the Occupant in Chief (a.k.a. Chief Clueless Asshole) is acting like one big fat spendthrift welfare mother, the kind his adminstration relishes when a convenient scapegoat is needed?

Bloody Hell.

Pray, Motherfucker.

Meet the Haves

It’s a cozy club, and I bet you’re wondering where you can submit yor application for membership:

Cleaners at Goldman Sachs, London get
paid 5.35 GBP per hour.

Goldmans has set aside $3.5bn to pay
bankers’ bonuses this month.

The bonus pool for the top
five Wall Street firms is $36 billion (For 173,000 staff).

Dernnis Prager has a Face that calls out for Preparation H

With all of the hullabaloo about a new Congressman allegedly stating that he’d take his “oath of office” with the Koran, Dennis Prager looks to be a liar, and he’s capable of dreaming up a doozy, because:

the swearing-in ceremony for the House of Representatives never includes a religious book.

Uh-huh. You read that right.

It’s a manufactured controversy of the sort that Fux News excels at, and serves well to distract people from knowing the truth, and fixing the problems these mother fucking assholes created, i.e. the war in Iraq, the deficit, corruption, pestilence, the Martian problem, et al.