Bush and Cheney to Switch Jobs

Difficult to believe? Well, it’s true!

“Why keep up this pretense any longer?” asked the former Veep, Mr. Cheney. “In time of war, a convoy can only go as fast as it’s slowest ship. I think George is a really swell guy, but we need to stop dragging our heels, get a move on, and get control of the situation.”

Which situation the new President was referring to wasn’t made clear.

This historic switcheroo is sure to provoke a constitutional crisis. However, pundits claim this isn’t entirely unprecedented.

“President Reagan effectively did the same thing, only he never relinquished the title,” said William Kristol of the Project for New American Century, a think tank and influential lobby based in Washington D.C.

Mr. Kristol continued, “What Mr Cheney has decided to do is in the best interest of the American public and the Iraqi people in this time of war, and will be looked back as an important, if not historic, development in government by the people, for the people.”

Mr. Bush has been in seclusion at his ranch in Crawford, Texas.

The former president has so far remained silent, and has chosen, according to aides, not to comment in detail on the role reversal at this time.

“The new Vice President would like the American public to know, that this development is in their best interests, and they should not fear for their country at this time,” has been his only official response.

Smells Like Hate Speech

Spocko’s Brain is having an impact on some greasy turd-mongers (Disney!) and their bullying ways.

Capturing audio bytes from some of KSFO’s “finest” (haaaaauck!) and making advertisers aware they’re supporting something akin to hate speech, we-ell, that really gets these ambulatory shit sticks riled up.

Examples of commentary that riles the bloggers:

•In November, morning co-host Melanie Morgan said of then-incoming House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a San Francisco Democrat: “We’ve got a bull’s-eye painted on her big, wide, laughing eyes.”

•Evening host Brian Sussman in December referred to Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., who has a Kenyan father and a white American mother, as a “halfrican.” In October 2005, Sussman asked a caller to prove he wasn’t a Muslim by saying “Allah is a whore.”

•In October, host Lee Rodgers warned “enemy” Muslim nations: “You keep screwing around with stuff like this, we’re going to kill a bunch of you — millions of you.”

Tammy Bruce, Lush Rimjob, and a few other of these dimestore prohpets of the airwaves polluting my town (LA) deserve the same kind of reatment.

Nothing makes things shiny and clear like spreading a little daylight.

Fuck You F.C.C.

Broadband coverage in this country is well known to be woefully inadequate. Some might say: a joke!

It is well-known competition is stifled, perhaps by the (alleged) collusion between the telcos and cabecos to not dig in each others back yard.

Meanwhile, western Europe kicks the USA’s ass (again).

The Center for Public Integrity want to study and find out how competitive the American market is (not very) and perhaps recommend what improvements are needed to benefit, like, you know, the consumers.

Yet the public agency respnsible doesn’t want to cooperate. I mean, fer chrissakes, it’s a PUBLIC agency-Hello!- our data- and the best the FCC can do is refuse and then have the gonads to pimp out some specious argument about revealing competitors information to each other. Absurd.

What’s wrong, FCC, afraid of a little scrutiny? You serve us, the American public, not the multi-national corporations.

One might think your data is cooked and you simply don’t want to be caught with yer pants down.

Might it embarrass your corporate overlords, who are behind this act of stubborn pig-headedness?

So CPI are left with that one and only all-American all-purpose tool: sue!

Geez what a waste of space the F.C.C. are.

I spit in your general direction.

Hell’s a Little More Crowded Tonight.

Watergate conspirator, Bay of Pigs disaster-planner, and JFK and spousal assassin E. Howard Hunt probably passed on the death bed confession, being the company man he was.

Why heck, some of his cronies, those that wish to see the president with imperial powers and unaccountable to the people who really govern, are still gaming away.

R.I.P Asshole. Your legacy of mucking things up continues.

Significant Linkage:

Dorothy Hunt
Flight 533 Coverup
E. Howard Hunt obit from the Guardian

Wonkette’s highlights

Atta’s Girlfriend Speaks

This Sordid Tale Begins…

… in a car dealership in Seattle.

A mentally ill man, with no caregiver to oversee him, walks into a dealership to buy a car.

When the salesman gets wind that he has shopping bags full of cash lying around his home, well, there’s a sucker born every minute, see, and this one must be his…

Worthy of being a coworker of Jerry Lundegaard.

You Go Girl

And don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Unemployment benefits are being denied to an Iowa hotel worker who was fired for using her employer’s computer to keep a journal of her efforts to avoid work.

One Way to Loot the Treassury

Hire this little mother of an adminsitrator to head the GAO (General Accounting Office). Lurita Alexis Doan wants to cut the GAO’s oversight budget, so when the coast is clear she can let her fuck buddies sneak in the back door, overcharge us, leverage more work for her cronies and let the small fry who believe in competition and fairness hang out to dry.

Cronyism is richly rewarded! Join today!

Who Is The Decider Exactly?

This article from the BBC which recounts how the office of the Vice President rejected out of hand a proposal from Iran that cold have quelled insurgency in Beruit and Iraq.

Did the president ever get a chance to see it (and would one of his adivsors have read it to him)? Not that one would bother to extrapolate that he would/could have done anything about it, since he’s such a horrbile negotiator (and true, a bit dense). Instead of persuading people not to kill us, he prefers to egg them on like the spoiled fucking child he still is.

Makes you wonder whether the case for war, which constantly changes shape as the hole these motherfuckers have dug gets deeper, could have been mitigated and terror and death minimized. I guess we’ll never fucking know.

Heckuva job Dicky!

How We Was Fleeced

As this article ably reports, the best interests of the citizens of the United States of America are not being served.

It is the best interests of the corporations which is.

They have a lot on the line, as their biggest customer is fat pig in lipstick with loads of cashola, seized as vig from its citizens/ patsies.

Lockheed Martin did indeed setup the entire war in Iraq as a money making venture (c’mon, you just know they’re behind it).

Game over! Time to throw the cards over, and declare the nation “governed by the people, for the people” a casualty of its very own upper caste, trust fund progeny.

Epitaph: Here Lies USA, a noble concept, killed by the Bush family, Freebasing Cheney et al and the oilgarchs and defense contractors who sucked them off.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Johnnie M. Burton: a crony’s crony and willing submissive (handsomely remunerated! now bend over beyotch!) for the oilgarchy running Washington (and oh, the entire country)(Anyone else noticing paralles between the USA and that other purported democracy, the USSR Russia?). They’ve been terrifically successful quietly integrating their street soldiers into the bureaucracy, in order to get at the prize. Now they have access, they can loot the Treasury and the wealth of this nation, as if it’s their own personal piggy bank

It was surely savvy to have forged connections in order to participate in the grand looting fest going on right under our very noses. With absolutely no oversight, this country should be wealth free (unpaid oil leases, a half trillion in Iraq, Katrina carpetbaggers, etc.) in no time!

So Johnnie M. Burton failed to renegotiate some contracts because they were initiated by a previous adminstration. They had cooties!

Plus, her friends will stand by Johnnie M. Burton in this troubled time, keeping her away from illumination because she’s a blood sucker.

And as ignorant young fools men enlist because they can’t get a good job and (having been braiwashed) wrongly believe that it’s the right thing to do.

Just remember one thing: there are many Bushes of enlistment age, but the only uniform you’ll see any Bush wearing will be around Halloween.

Cold Warriors Suck Ass

Rumsfeld, Cheney, Kissinger et al are still fighting the cold war– in Iraq.

Just one small problem: the ‘enemy’ isn’t.

This confilct is a guerilla war and, as in Vietnam, the cold warriors are, once again, getting their asses kicked.

That this current strategy will lose is plainly obvious to all, except to these dinosaurs.

Meanwhile, the leadership of the opposition has successfully executed a very capitalist notion: find a niche or weakness and exploit it.

To the max.

Instead of fighting them, maybe they should consider giving Osama a medal for showing the US how to fix their cognitive leaks.

Instead, leadership on this side of the conflict just keeps trying to enlarge the hole.

Is that batshit crazy or what?

Unfortunately this executive administration is asleep at the wheel (HELLO – WAKEY WAKEY – hmmm, the lights are on, but nobody’s home). Oblivious, they continue to hit the food pellet button, unable to comprehend how they’re slavishly fulfilling their own peculiar neuroses.

Repeating the same mistake, over and over, is certainly what their benefactors desire. Daddy Warbucks is more than happy to pat Clueless and Adamant on their back, whispering sweet nothings like “the US is they best equipped force in the history of the world,” and encourage further forays out into the center ring.

But when you get your ass handed to you, c’mon already. How many times does it take to see your benefactors sitting there on the sidelines trying to maintain a straight face, fools?

Is someone needing to take a gnarly shit?

Fighting terrorists with ‘technological marvels,’ conceived during a different time and place- and all too late for the that party- is proving futile.

The proof is in the fact that the US and other ‘allied nations’ are simply losing against these highly mobile, unseen, and adequately outfitted (an AK-47 costs $50, a pair of night goggles about $2000) terr-uillas.

That’s the result when the American electorate isn’t informed enough to elect leaders who are at least clued in. Having leaders who are more comfortable resorting to violence instead of intelligence, and fight fire with fire, is comparable to being led by (Stalin, Lenin, Hitler, take your pick).

Soon, the nation they were elected to serve, could end up the same way, if the electorate doesn’t wake up to the facts and do more than elect a slim majority.

Even the media networks which love to kiss-ass cheer like extensions of the administration speak about ‘terrorists’ as if they were convetional forces (“Al-Qaida’s man in Iraq” ) in an attempt frame it all in terms they can understand (i.e. a conventional war), the reality- “a misadventure with unforeseen consequences-” being far too complex for such small minds.

The Clueless adminstration has failed to live up to it’s responsibility to the public it serves, and at the public’s considerable expense (the Bushes and Cheney’s et al should be receive a big invoice for our trouble).

Perhaps Iraq was little more than an excuse to use up supply in order to manufacture anew to fill the pipeline- at outrageous expense. It’s easy to be cynical about motives, when there were so many outrageous lies and miscarriage of justice to underscore the deceit and mischief.

Certainly those the profit by the war are savvy enough to keep their profile low, hide behind the curtain of patriot, and while everyone’s looking at the diversion they’ve created, busily line their pockets because they’vere managed to fabricate their own private key to the treasury.

They’re all so really good at making shit up, and Americans are so accustomed to a steady diet of shit.

They put the Cunt in Country

Dahlia Lithwick’s The Bill of Wrongs pretty much sums it up. A sample:

9. Guantanamo Bay
It takes a licking but it keeps on ticking. After the Supreme Court struck down the military tribunals planned to try hundreds of detainees moldering on the base, and after the president agreed that it might be a good idea to close it down, the worst public relations fiasco since the Japanese internment camps lives on. Prisoners once deemed “among the most dangerous, best-trained, vicious killers on the face of the earth” are either quietly released (and usually set free) or still awaiting trial. The lucky 75 to be tried there will be cheered to hear that the Pentagon has just unveiled plans to build a $125 million legal complex for the hearings. The government has now officially put more thought into the design of Guantanamo’s court bathrooms than the charges against its prisoners.

I wonder if there is any chance Bush, Cheney, Kissinger et all will ever be held to account for the abuse of human rights their cherry-picked legislation inspired. After all, what’s good for the goose… well, I can dream can’t I? Seeing them behind bars, being water-boarded… aw hell, they could sell that on pay-per-view. Pass the popcorn!