Representative fucktard du jour

Some people care about the most inane shit.

Fear not the fate of the republic.

Pity da fools?

Demi Moore, get over yourself.

Being over the hill isn’t so bad.

Besides, you knew what the job requirements were.

You just have to find something else to do.

Can’t play an ingenue anymore? Or a slut?

How about a cougar or a GILF?

Can’t command as high a salary as before?

Didn’t you invest your millions well? You seem rich enough. Half a million in “plastic surgery” is more than most people make in ten years.

Best advice of all: get a life!

No Such Thing as Bad Publicity

“The most hated man on the internet” is attempting to market his “expertise” in “real estate investing.”

Which is laughable, if you know his background is being foreclosed on for over 2 million dollars worth of real estate, which he admits were acquired fraudulently.

He has a website which documents his failures, which is entertainment to many a bored browser.

He plays his ”haterz” like a violin virtuoso.

How much of what he says is true? I dunno, but he’s got a potential partner with a business plan. What does it matter?

So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that in this day and age and the rise of fucktards, celebutards, and worthless trust fundies, and other ne’er-do-wells, that Casey is web master of his own domain.

#If Adolf Hitler flew in today, they’d send a limousine anyway #

Punishment or Confinement?

Sentencing Paris Hilton for a short term behind bars probably isn’t going to solve the problem here. A woman who scoffs at any kind of law because, well, a sense of entitlement, needs to serve a sentence more down-to-earth, methinks.

So I suggest that the judge be a little more creative, like the judge down heah in Alabammy who sentence a shoplifter to wear a sandwich board decrying her crime.

I AM GUILTY OF DRIVING MY CAR ON A SUSPENDED LICENSE

or

I AM GUILTY OF DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE

And pacing back in forth on Rodeo Drive might have a more desirous effect.

Kramer Drops the N Bomb

When Second Bananas go bad.

More proof that there are no second acts in American Life? You be da judge.

Considering that, what’s the chance this was just a publicity stunt to try and revive his moribund career?

Nah, I’m getting too cynical.

And after you watch that, watch this:

I Know, I Know, Easy Target

Vicodin addict and right wing shock-jock Rush Limbaugh accused Michael J. Fox of faking his Parkinsons symptons for an advert supporting stem cell research.

[YOUTUBE=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9WB_PXjTBo]

Human Trafficking

Does this idiot of an asshole think anyone is still interested in her attention whore stylings? This whole debacle has erupted like anal warts on her face. Not to mention the poor kid and his father in the middle of it all.

Adopting a kid who isn’t an orphan (perhaps you genuinely didn’t know, but did you bother to find out? Or did you just think this would never surface?) simply to get publicity in your twilight years is no way to show your humanity.

You are just another celebutard asshole, manipulating Malawi officials to spirit away your little bundle of publicity joy to England, apparently without remorse.

This poor kid’s suffered enough! Africa has suffered enough. Do they need someone who’s sole intention is to climb a majestic floater in the public cesspool, in an effort to one-up one of their celebutard rivals?

But with Madonna, I guess the end justifies the means.

Score!

Hey! Mel! Over here!

Laughing off your foibles is the practiced skill of the negligent alcky. Mel’s apparently gotten a lot of practice, he’s so smooooooth.

But a dickhead is a dickhead, and this one’s a real asshole.

I don’t care if you put yourself at risk, but the real offense (besides the legal infraction) is he could have actually injured or killed someone. PCH is notoriously dangerous because of the curves, speed, and inherent danger to not just other autos but bicyclists and pedestrians too. Mixing alcohol into this equation is a potentially volatile act but is of one’s free will, and so I have no sympathy for Mel, who, obviously knowing all of this, chooses to drink and drive of his own volition.

Throw the fucking book at ‘em, I say. Pricks and assholes, every last one of them. Including you, Melvin.

That the drink driving aspect of this is being glossed over by just about everybody in favor of a few of Mel’s choice words and phrases shouldn’t surprise anyone. But, instead of slanderous or hate speech, how about we focus on the attempted murder aspect of Mel’s negligent actions?

Ooh I forgot, that would be responsible journalism.

On a note of sociological importance, what comes first: wealth and fame, or the oversized ego/arrogance of being a large turd-emitting asshole?

not an haiku

Is it hubris

a sense of entitlement

or impunity

that propels howard k stern

in his quest

to take over anna nicole smith inc.?

One heir down

and another ready replacement

a faux wedding to the junkie airhead

all help in staking his claim

machiavelli knows this man

He won’t be the last…

… and how proud should he be to be first? This is America fer chrissakes, the land of Assholes. Where assholes become king.

Answer: very proud (after all, he inspired this blog).

What is an asshole? And why do these dominate the American landscape just like the brontosaurus did eons ago? Summed up this way:

“America is where everyone tries to look good but behaves badly.”
- anonyomous (well, I never bothered got the guys name)

Now on to our inaugural ASSHOLE- he so richly desereves it. Not that he hasn’t had stiff competition.

Runner up can only be the fake JonBenet Ramsey killer John Mark Karr. A Pee Wee Herman clone- which in itself isn’t bad- if you’re an ACT. This guys fer real, jehiminy, and even though he’s not the murderer, maybe he’s got something else to cconfess that he actually did. A major asshole, and a contender on a weaker day perhaps.

But the biggest browneye putrid motherfucker today- & I can’t wait to see who takes the crown tomorrow, it’ll take some doing IMHO- is this turd tickler:

Troy Lee Gentry

Read about him here. Frankly, what do you do with someone like this? Skin him alive, and where his pelt on halloween? Kidnap him, put him in a cage and dump him at sea? I’m mad at myself for not being mean and ornery enough to think of a suitable punishment for this festering pile of shit.

# Assholes in America work seven days a week #
- (with apologies to the Clash)