Could not have happened to a nicer guy

Saudi Prince Bandar bin Sultan

Think Bandar Bush will eventually receive that particular (Saudi) royal treatment: beheading?

Who knows, but this steaming turd once threatened UK officials that if they did not stop the investigation into the British Aerospace (BAE) slush fund which him and his family/cronies relied upon for frequent travel and million dollar shopping excursions (no lie) then the UK might soon see another 7/7.

In kingdom, Saudi prince’s coup ‘fails’
Sun, 02 Aug 2009 17:03:54 GMT

Saudi Prince Bandar bin Sultan, the kingdom’s former ambassador to the United States, is reportedly under house arrest over a conspiracy against the monarch.

Saad al-Faqih, head of the opposition group Islamic Reform Movement, told Arab-language TV al-Alam that Prince Bandar has been disappeared and the media has published no word from the ex-diplomat’s whereabouts since nearly three months ago.

According to al-Faqih, the prince first disappeared in Britain but he returned to the kingdom shortly afterwards.

He added that after Saudi officials discovered that he had provoked 200 agents working for the Saudi security service to stage a coup against King Abdullah, he was put under house arrest.

Al-Faqih said people close to the king had disclosed Bandar’s plots and foiled them.

He said Saudi sources believe that intelligence provided by some Arab countries help the Saudi monarch foil Prince Bandar’s conspiracy.

Power struggle between members of the Saudi royal family has been common as power is shared among some 200 princes out of the estimated 7000 family members.

Known as Bandar Bush because of his close relations with former US President George W Bush, the prince is son of Crown Prince Sultan bin Abdul Aziz.

I am sure it is all one big misunderstanding.

…

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“It will be many years before the masses discover just how completely they have been fleeced by the power elite.” -Richard Smith

Clearly there is not confidence

… in our Feckless leaders ability to handle the Solvency Crisis.

Hell, this crisis begat another crisis: the Leadership Crisis.

Hanky Panky, Clueless Bushtard, and Bendover Bukkake are clearly in over their heads.

Trying everything and anything to try and stop a panic while avoiding/ignoring the true causes is doomed to failure, son. Didn’t yo daddy learn you that?

By all reports two out of three of the aformentioned “leaders” are pretty bright guys (if “book smarts” counts). One was the progenitor of this very crisis back in his days of working in the tranches at Goldman Sux, and I’m sure he is reveling in his handiwork. One of them is merely parroting what his handlers tell him (“repeat the same phrase over and over and there’s a chance it might become true”) and is clearly detached from the pain being felt by the people he was (sort of) elected to govern, protect, and defend the Constitution for. One of them is a student of a prior meltdown (“GD 1.0″) but unfortunately his expertise on that particluar crisis is tragically misplaced since this country’s markets are facing a completely different set of criteria this time around (See the Panic of 1873 for a more apt comparison). Oopsy.

“[I]nvestors have totally lost faith in the ability of policy authorities to control this meltdown.” -Noureil Roubini

The Housing Crisis would not have occurred had we not had Excessive Leverage and an unregulated Credit Default Swap market be allowed to get out of control. Put all three together, though, and you have a mix as potent as a cocktail Molotov.

The underlying value of the former two will be greatly affected  by how the first performs. Are the underlying assets worthless? No. But establishing a value is indeed a problem, and FUD about homedebtors walking away in the MSM exacerbates the problem.

So we have a Crisis of Solvency, followed by a Crisis of Leadership.

Which is the greater concern?

Well, this IS being handled by … (wait for it)

The Three Stooges of Financial Armageddon.

What they gonna do? [Paul Krugman]

Hank Paulson is a MUCH bigger criminal than OJ Simpson

So to everyone celebrating his conviction, FUCK YOU, you’ve been paying attentionto this while the CRIME OF THE CENTURY was being committed right over there —> (you just had to look).

You’ve just been screwed outof TRILLIONS of dollars which will overseen by the very person most responsible for the creation of the financial crisis- the former CEO of Goldman Sucks.

You are gloating that some broken-down athlete finally got his comeuppance, as if THAT had some importance or bearing on YOUR life.

Well, congratulations, YOU are about to experience what PAYBACK IS A BITCH really means.

“Payback, but for what?” you might well ask. For taking your eye off the ball. For dereliction of duty.

For being distracted. For being stupid.

See, that’s the problem with bread and circuses.  Under the guise of a “bailout” (more like a down-payment) when it was in fact nothing more than a government-backed MONEY-LAUNDERING SCAM as well as an UNPRECEDENTED giveaway of national wealth (i.e., your taxes are about to increase by 100%), most of you were distracted by the irrelevance of OJ, American Idol, Sarah Palin, 99.9999% of television, bombast radio, Faux Nooze, et al.

Talk about fiddling while the empire is burning!

Are you prepared? Of course not, you’re an idiot who voted in crooks.

Here’s your reward for not paying attention:

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“There is no constitutional authority for the government to bail out private enterprise at taxpayer expense.” -Mike Shedlock

Bush isn’t the only ‘total failure’

Nancy as a young tart

Congreff rubber stamped virutally every piece of legislation Bush and his cronies wanted enacted.  Congreff stood by and did nothing while parts of America engorged itself on a diet of debt, fraud, and larceny while Congreff just stood by with their collective finger up their fucking ass while the rest of us were yelling to try an get your attention and pointing out wha was just so wrong.

Nancy, dah-ling, you are as much a ‘total failure’ as the chimp-in-chief. You and 95.6% of your colleagues.

You Bitch. [AP]

I’d say they were whistling past the graveyard

… only our clueless fearless leaders aren’t even making a peep on the dollar’s striking, humbling, scary devaluation.

Perhaps this is all part of the plan to bring the nation to it’s nknees, enslave the middle class, and give the wealthy the power to rule over us like slaves.

Or maybe they’re just clueless fucknuggets that don’t know what the fuck to do about any of it.

Applying Occam’s razor makes the latter scenario the most likely.

Mortgage meldown a terrorist plot?

This “mortgage meltdown” has the “fingerprints of al-Qaeda all over it,” according to one insider.

This is a tale that has not been picked up by the MSM yet, but given time, it most certainly will. The blogosphere is already all over it.

It has been recently revealed through top-secret administration documents provided by an undercover source in Homeland Security, as well as “highly placed” officials at the Securities and Exchange Commission, that the instrument known as the Collateralized Debt Obligation (CDO) was the creation of an al-Qaeda operative working undercover at Drexel Burnham Lambert.

“This was the metaphorical equivalent of a suicide bomber… except it has not yet detonated, but believe you me, this is imminent.”

This same “person of interest,” according to an FBI informant ”worked within the system in order to help destroy it.”

His identity is known, but only to a few highly placed officials. This “person of interest” is said to now run one of this nation’s largest hedge funds. So many of this nation’s wealthy citizens have so much invested under his auspices, it is felt that rather than “rock the boat,” the administration would rather play it safe for the time being, wait it out to see if this individual can make investors a few more dollars before they take the opportunity to withdraw capital, as in a down market, because- so far- he has done very well by them.

The Hundred Year Plan
Al-Qaeda planners and strategists think long term- “decades and centuries, unlike our month-to-month, at best five-year plans.”

And just where will all of this end?

“It is common knowledge al-Qaeda has successfully infiltrated American financial institutions,” and this has, according to one source “not gone unnoticed.”

“If they’re profitable, and so far they have been it’s highly unlikely that anyone would want to interfere. We are waiting until they screw up, that’s when we (Homeland Security) would grab them. It’s all about market timing, which is pretty easy.”

Credit where credit is due
The stroke of genius was in getting the bubble to blow up in the first place- getting people’s hopes up that the economy was strong, buoyant, and long term, by making convincing arguments via the mainstream press and late-night infomercials that “this time it is different” and that it was indeed possible to “earn without having to put forth effort, get an education, or struggle.”

The nation’s deficit status is looming over the horizon like the sword of Damocles, and whose head is on the chopping block? “Americans, that’s who,” said the official.

Stupid is, and stupid does

He just continues to amaze:

WASHINGTON — President Bush, looking for ways to respond to the subprime-mortgage crisis, will outline a series of policy changes and recommendations today to help borrowers avoid default, senior administration officials said.

Among the moves will be an administrative change to allow the Federal Housing Administration, which insures mortgages for low- and middle-income borrowers, to guarantee loans for delinquent borrowers. The change is intended to help borrowers who are at least 90 days behind in payments but still living in their homes avoid foreclosure; the guarantees help homeowners by allowing them to refinance at more favorable rates.

WTF? Why should the rest of us pay for every other idiot’s excesses?

I suppose in order to get enough people on his side for the planned assault on Iran, he has to throw them a bone.

But a little advice for anyone who accepts any kind of bailout: read the fine print this time! No telling what your government has up their sleeve.

Fredo, we hardly knew ye

Yet the closer we got, the more repellant you became.

Still, credit where credit is due. His *spectacular* rise to the level of his incompetence is only surpassed in the annals of history by one man: his boss.

Give the man a medal. And a Burgie!

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

The Same Guy?

Boy, Talk About Being Hoist by Your Own Petard

“If You Harbor Terrorists, You Are a Terrorist”

Oh rrrrrreally?

Ever heard of Luis Posada Carriles and Orlando Bosch?

By all accounts, terrorists.

So therefore, Señores Bush (W and HW) are Terrorists!

Simple. Logical.

Now that that is settled, I wonder who else needs to be sent down to Gitmo. Kissinger?

It is Like Tammany Hall all over again.

You remember Tammany Hall, right? (Click the link if you snored away during history class.) In the role of Boss Tweed, now called Boss Hogg, we have Dick Cheney, the one true president(tm).

This latest joke, if you haven’t following the political appointment of unqualified individuals this adminstration sees as fit, such as Brownie, Wolfy, Gonzo, Bolton, Miers, Rummy, goody-Goodling or any other graduate of ”Regent University” then go fuck yourself you’re a waste of space, makes this government (of the government, for the government, fuck the people) it is starting to look like deja vu all over again.

We’ll need 1000 Thomas Nasts to puncture this overbloated bag of puss.

Instead of grifters, con artsists, and associated feral ass lickers holding out their fingers-less gloved, shit-smeared hands, today we have people from the local discerning Republican xtian club holding out their fingers-less gloved, shit-smeared hands.

They might clooak themselves in some ideological bullshit, but don’t be fooled, it’s the same  difference. It all comes down to greed.

“I confess to being less than perfect when it comes to long-term personal record keeping.”

It’s like our their country has been taken over by organized crime and their goons, or worse, frat boy B students who watched Godfather and Scarface and got daddy involved in keeping them from fulfilling their duties.

UPDATE
These fucktards seem to have loyalty and royalty confused. Or maybe they don’t? (Requires a day pass at Salon.)

A Poem

counterfeit cowboy

playing high stakes poker
his opponents see his bank is getting thinner
earlier
and now devise what it would take
to bankrupt him
he shows his hand too early – it is in his face
the best players bluff better than this!
an experienced hand at doesn’t rush in
without having a solid exit plan
what a dickhead!

True.

Many gifts have been exchanged between the Bush and bin Laden families over the years. But Iraq was the greatest gift of all.

You Have to Admit, This Soldier Has a Point

The shooting at VT was certainly a tragedy. But seemingly, to the adminstration that governs our country, the soldiers dying daily receive no such tribute.

“I find it ironic that the flags were flown at half-staff for the young men and women who were killed at VT, yet it is never lowered for the death of a U.S. service member,” Wilt wrote.

The President has NEVER attended a funeral of one of our dead American soldiers from Iraq. Does he care? Apparently not. They’re simply there- to be used in hos folly.

The adminstration has forbidden the photographing of body bags and caskets simply because it would become to clear to Americans what a tragiedy is unfolding two or three continents away.

And this same adminstration makes no tribute recognizing the sacrifice of bracve American soldiers.

For shame, President Cheney, for shame.

Are we not worthy?

Wanted: Scapegoat

Your mission, if you chose to accept it, is to run the show in Iraq and Afghanistan, in the newly created position of Imperial War Czar. Take ownership, champion a “win-win” scenario, manage the conflict with an eye toward eventual military “success,” and optimize/utilize funding streams downline.

In your new position of “War Czar” you will deflect “flak” from upper management and meticulously micro-manage each and ever aspect and optimize the benefit to our shareholders and contractors.

You must be willing and have the capacity to suspend belief about the overall organizations seeming inability to succeed at “war,” while paying lip service to traitors who cannot possibly understand the big picture in inoffensive and non-confrontational ways.

You will have at your disposal a public relations entity very well lubed, with supporters/cheerleaders selectively planted in the ranks. If you can utilize these resources well, your long tenure is assured.

You must possess the requisite mental aptitude and positive attitude necessary to multi task in a multi-org environment (a third region will be awarded to you very soon once you have passed the required probationary period) then please send your resume to:

 

President Dick Cheney
White House
Washington, DC, 01010

Alternate Minimum Tax – An Open Letter to George W. Bush

Hey Dickhead-

Over here! Let me draw your attention to something. Hey. HEY! over here, shitbag.

Now pay close attention Mr. A-D-D.

Instead of helping out your pals with the bulging wallets- the rich who just wanna be richer, why not do something for the middle class, i.e. the majority of Americans- who are being screwed in the ass by an archaic, out-of-date law.

The Alternate Minimum Tax. Ever heard of it? Of course you haven’t. I’d suggest you ask one of your handlers about it, but they might tell you it’s a tax break for Americans, and you’ll believe them (just like you did about some massive weapons over in Eye-rack).

Or better yet, while you’re taking a drink and kicking back after a hard day of photo ops and talking bullshit tough, fire up the Google and look it up. Or just click on this link (here it is again in case you missed it the first time) (those mice can be awfully slippery after a few shots of Jack).

The read it- just like you would the words on the teleprompter. And think about doing something for the American people, selflessly, for once, instead of that self-dealing narcissistic shit. Hmmmkay?

And if it doesn’t make sense, ask Condi next time your at the Mayfair having a fuck.

He Also Shot J.R.

Wonkette runs down the list of offenses that Khalil Sheik Mohammed has admitted to executing against American ‘interests.’

How THAT got left off the list I have no idea.

The rumor that he was behind Anna Nicole’s baby is just that.

Ugh.

I can taste the bile in the back of my throat after reading this. Ugh.

I feel like I want to puke. I am certainly squirming uncomfortably in my chair.

Why?

I’m trying to figure something out here.

Is Chris Matthews gay for Bush?

No that’s not an oxymoron, but the transcripts from that infamous “Mission Accomplished” day out for Clueless boy can make even the most die hard conservative (private citizen, not pundit who’s livliehood depends on being in a constant state of refutation) squeamish, in light of all that’s happened recently.

MATTHEWS: Let me ask you, Bob Dornan, you were a congressman all those years. Here’s a president who’s really nonverbal. He’s like Eisenhower. He looks great in a military uniform. He looks great in that cowboy costume he wears when he goes West. I remember him standing at that fence with Colin Powell. Was [that] the best picture in the 2000 campaign?

I mean, c’mon.

Methinks it’s time for a nationally collective re-reading The Emperor’s New Clothes.

Bush and Cheney to Switch Jobs

Difficult to believe? Well, it’s true!

“Why keep up this pretense any longer?” asked the former Veep, Mr. Cheney. “In time of war, a convoy can only go as fast as it’s slowest ship. I think George is a really swell guy, but we need to stop dragging our heels, get a move on, and get control of the situation.”

Which situation the new President was referring to wasn’t made clear.

This historic switcheroo is sure to provoke a constitutional crisis. However, pundits claim this isn’t entirely unprecedented.

“President Reagan effectively did the same thing, only he never relinquished the title,” said William Kristol of the Project for New American Century, a think tank and influential lobby based in Washington D.C.

Mr. Kristol continued, “What Mr Cheney has decided to do is in the best interest of the American public and the Iraqi people in this time of war, and will be looked back as an important, if not historic, development in government by the people, for the people.”

Mr. Bush has been in seclusion at his ranch in Crawford, Texas.

The former president has so far remained silent, and has chosen, according to aides, not to comment in detail on the role reversal at this time.

“The new Vice President would like the American public to know, that this development is in their best interests, and they should not fear for their country at this time,” has been his only official response.

Who Is The Decider Exactly?

This article from the BBC which recounts how the office of the Vice President rejected out of hand a proposal from Iran that cold have quelled insurgency in Beruit and Iraq.

Did the president ever get a chance to see it (and would one of his adivsors have read it to him)? Not that one would bother to extrapolate that he would/could have done anything about it, since he’s such a horrbile negotiator (and true, a bit dense). Instead of persuading people not to kill us, he prefers to egg them on like the spoiled fucking child he still is.

Makes you wonder whether the case for war, which constantly changes shape as the hole these motherfuckers have dug gets deeper, could have been mitigated and terror and death minimized. I guess we’ll never fucking know.

Heckuva job Dicky!

Cold Warriors Suck Ass

Rumsfeld, Cheney, Kissinger et al are still fighting the cold war– in Iraq.

Just one small problem: the ‘enemy’ isn’t.

This confilct is a guerilla war and, as in Vietnam, the cold warriors are, once again, getting their asses kicked.

That this current strategy will lose is plainly obvious to all, except to these dinosaurs.

Meanwhile, the leadership of the opposition has successfully executed a very capitalist notion: find a niche or weakness and exploit it.

To the max.

Instead of fighting them, maybe they should consider giving Osama a medal for showing the US how to fix their cognitive leaks.

Instead, leadership on this side of the conflict just keeps trying to enlarge the hole.

Is that batshit crazy or what?

Unfortunately this executive administration is asleep at the wheel (HELLO – WAKEY WAKEY – hmmm, the lights are on, but nobody’s home). Oblivious, they continue to hit the food pellet button, unable to comprehend how they’re slavishly fulfilling their own peculiar neuroses.

Repeating the same mistake, over and over, is certainly what their benefactors desire. Daddy Warbucks is more than happy to pat Clueless and Adamant on their back, whispering sweet nothings like “the US is they best equipped force in the history of the world,” and encourage further forays out into the center ring.

But when you get your ass handed to you, c’mon already. How many times does it take to see your benefactors sitting there on the sidelines trying to maintain a straight face, fools?

Is someone needing to take a gnarly shit?

Fighting terrorists with ‘technological marvels,’ conceived during a different time and place- and all too late for the that party- is proving futile.

The proof is in the fact that the US and other ‘allied nations’ are simply losing against these highly mobile, unseen, and adequately outfitted (an AK-47 costs $50, a pair of night goggles about $2000) terr-uillas.

That’s the result when the American electorate isn’t informed enough to elect leaders who are at least clued in. Having leaders who are more comfortable resorting to violence instead of intelligence, and fight fire with fire, is comparable to being led by (Stalin, Lenin, Hitler, take your pick).

Soon, the nation they were elected to serve, could end up the same way, if the electorate doesn’t wake up to the facts and do more than elect a slim majority.

Even the media networks which love to kiss-ass cheer like extensions of the administration speak about ‘terrorists’ as if they were convetional forces (“Al-Qaida’s man in Iraq” ) in an attempt frame it all in terms they can understand (i.e. a conventional war), the reality- “a misadventure with unforeseen consequences-” being far too complex for such small minds.

The Clueless adminstration has failed to live up to it’s responsibility to the public it serves, and at the public’s considerable expense (the Bushes and Cheney’s et al should be receive a big invoice for our trouble).

Perhaps Iraq was little more than an excuse to use up supply in order to manufacture anew to fill the pipeline- at outrageous expense. It’s easy to be cynical about motives, when there were so many outrageous lies and miscarriage of justice to underscore the deceit and mischief.

Certainly those the profit by the war are savvy enough to keep their profile low, hide behind the curtain of patriot, and while everyone’s looking at the diversion they’ve created, busily line their pockets because they’vere managed to fabricate their own private key to the treasury.

They’re all so really good at making shit up, and Americans are so accustomed to a steady diet of shit.

They put the Cunt in Country

Dahlia Lithwick’s The Bill of Wrongs pretty much sums it up. A sample:

9. Guantanamo Bay
It takes a licking but it keeps on ticking. After the Supreme Court struck down the military tribunals planned to try hundreds of detainees moldering on the base, and after the president agreed that it might be a good idea to close it down, the worst public relations fiasco since the Japanese internment camps lives on. Prisoners once deemed “among the most dangerous, best-trained, vicious killers on the face of the earth” are either quietly released (and usually set free) or still awaiting trial. The lucky 75 to be tried there will be cheered to hear that the Pentagon has just unveiled plans to build a $125 million legal complex for the hearings. The government has now officially put more thought into the design of Guantanamo’s court bathrooms than the charges against its prisoners.

I wonder if there is any chance Bush, Cheney, Kissinger et all will ever be held to account for the abuse of human rights their cherry-picked legislation inspired. After all, what’s good for the goose… well, I can dream can’t I? Seeing them behind bars, being water-boarded… aw hell, they could sell that on pay-per-view. Pass the popcorn!