Hey, DEA, my backyard needs some weeding. I’m a taxpayer, and I can’t tell the difference between ditchweed, mary-jane, and my asshole so why don’t you come and check it out? Huh, bubby?
And make me a little path (a path! a path!) for the dog to take a shit, while yer at it, pal.
Who heads this assaholic agency, anyway? <fx: keyboard typing dea.gov> Karen Tandy, C’moooon down, you’re the next asshole o’ da day! Beyotch. Nice flag in the pic, too, BTW. Wrap yourself in it, it’ll magically ward off the slings and arrows of outrageous bloggers like a holy grail, and it’s as American as Mormon underwear, priests molesting altar boys, and incest in the Ozarks. Yawp.
I wanna hock a loogie I’m so hot and bothered by this waste!
What’s he on about? you must be wondering.
A recent report confirmed what many already presumed to be true- that 98% of the marijuana confiscated and destroyed is ditchweed- that is, not the illegal substance they like to point to their stats when they go beggin to Congress for more money, but the wild stuff growing in the wild that can’t even be cultivated for ‘use.’
It is a statistical pump, or slant, that makes them look good. They all do it, all these bureaucrats with their over-bloated budgets that behooves they spend it all or risk getting smaller budget next year (an anti-incentive). Thus, the most expensive weeding on the planet (the aliens watching us from above must be having a laugh).
At least, hire a Mexican or two, they’ll work a hell of a lot cheaper than those guys wearing the stinking badges.
How different is this from the straw ‘groups’ of muslims that get arrested, one for purchasing 1,000 cell phones (and later released) and our favorite, the Florida clowns that didn’t say ‘no‘ when an FBI agent asked “would you like to blow up the Sears Tower?” and were subsequently framed (much to that ageny’s embarrASSment) .
Shee-it, it’s not a clown house, it’s a whole goddam freaking three ring circus here. It’s beyond fixing; I gotta get me outa this place!