Whoever You Are, Thanks a Bunch

December 30, 2006

Recovery program seems to be working, you’re still an asshole, but a repentant one.

The payment is almost certainly related to a law signed by Mr Schwarzenegger in 2004 offering “taxpayer amnesty”, so that the very wealthy could set their taxes straight without risking fines or jail. The deadline for applying for amnesty was April 1, 2005, so any settlements would probably have been made this year and could cover several years of earnings.

Once an asshole always an asshole, eh?

Executive Assistant of State

December 29, 2006

America acts in the world like it is leaderless or bi-polar.

If you wonder about that assertion, then all you need do is look at death and destruction atround the globe, and wonder: where’s this country’s leadership? Who’s in charge? The president? The vice president? The secretary of state? Congress?

The neocons (who obviously had Iraq’s number from day one) (yeah, right) use to loooove to talk about cutting off the head of the snake, Hussein. Yet they never quite managed to accomplish this.

The snake head that runs this country is either missing or slumbering. How is it that this country’s diplomatic corp can be so easily intimidated at the negottiating tble by a pip squeak of a dick-tator in North Korea? Ethiopa (land of the starving) apparently has an army (who knew?) and is making moves on Somalia and Darfur, and while Bush would rather clear weeds than attend funerals for dead presidents (Reagan, Ford), Rice is running around like yet another animal with its head cut off (squwak!), accomplishing fuck all.

Just setting the military forces up shop in Iraq so they can do their usual business and then taking a vacation is no way to run a country or a war, son. Did you smoke too much crack back in your youth, and did it rot your brain? Abu Ghraib and other atrocities committed by American troops are commonplace, under-reported, and would this happen on the watch of a steward who gives a shit?

With their legacy of international tumult, poorly played brinksmanship, theft by proxy of the treasury, the leaders of the homeland ™ today make all of us look (yes, democrats too) to the rest of the world like a rogue nation which would rather arrogantly elbow it’s way to the trough like an 800 pound pig.

The credit is all yours, pal, I hope you fucking enjoy it. Hisotry will be kind and the footnotes will read you were a fucking retard due to drugs and alcohol.

As for Condoleeza, if she wants to be invisible, she’s doing a heckuva job. Her legacy at this stage will undeniably be the most innefectual Secretary of State this country ever produced.

Maybe her title should more accurately refelect her job? Let’s get it changed to “Executive Assistant of State.”

Sure, she logs the air miles like a champ, but what has Condi acutally accomplished? Was her goal all along simply to fly free for the rest of her life?

Mission accomplished!

RIP Fuckhead

December 28, 2006

This putrid chancre-sucking turd wanted to be president so bad, he was ready to bend over and take it from all comers.

Since he was at least smart enough to now nobody would ever elect him (most of America mumbled a collective “Gerald Who?” when the chosen one’s name was announced), he accepted what would be for him a “no-brainer,” a deal he could certainly live with: pardon Nixon for all crimes he may or may not have committed (yeah, baby!), and screw the American people, the Constitution, and the Rule of Law all in their collective asses.

With a razor blade tickler.

And yet some people can actually find the words to praise this dead fucking asshole like he was some kind of statesman. Yeah, right. Had he never accepted that sweetheart deal, he’d have been long ago forgotten- excepting maybe as “Mr. Betty Ford.”

What a jackass. Asshole. Asswipe. Freakenstein.

I spit on your grave, Mr Asshole president Who Was Never Elected I.

L-R: Ruinous Rummy, Our Asshole, and Self Dealer

Resume Padding Can Get You Hired

December 27, 2006

What about those 15 years of experience in the financial industry? According to documents obtained by Money from the New York State Banking Department, Ridings’ first job in the financial services industry was his brief time as a broker at Morgan Stanley in late 1998. The documents also say he was a day trader for two years, and worked at subprime lending firm Equity Funding for one year before joining GuardHill.

Piss poor performance can get you noticed.

And Trump Mortgage has fallen short of Ridings’ earlier forecasts. At the time of the company’s launch, Ridings predicted the company would complete $3 billion in loans in 2006, much of it in residential lending. Now Ridings says, “Trump Mortgage anticipated doing close to $1 billion in residential mortgages, but that figure may not be reached by the end of this year.”

Taking bets on how long he lasts not that he’s been sussed.

Have a Coke(tm) and Fuck Up Your Life

December 27, 2006

these multinational corporations give millions of dollars to schools so that their districts and vending machines exclusively carry their goods. In reality, however, it comes down to one big clever marketing ploy: In the end these big corporations have hooked kids on their products while fooling people into believing they are virtuous corporate citizens because they support education.

Smoking lobby, meet the soda lobby. You kids should get on great.

Mutually Unbeneficial

December 19, 2006

A great, wonderful article that puts into words what I’ve been thinking for sometime, that:

“The mutual fund industry is now the world’s largest skimming operation—a $7 trillion trough from which fund managers, brokers, and other insiders are steadily siphoning off an excessive slice of the nation’s household, college, and retirement savings.”

Legal theft? Ya, you betcha.

Hey, get your fucking hand out of my pocket!

Here’s one other telling excerpt. Why haven’t regulators gotten involved in the fee/commission controversy yet?

You can also compare past fees for different funds before you invest. For example, if you had put $100,000 into Putnam’s Small Cap Growth Fund Class B Shares and held it for the past five years, you would find that Putnam would have charged you $13,809 in fees during that time. Vanguard’s Total Stock Market Index Fund, on the other hand, would have charged only $1,165 for the exact same investment. —Byron Perry

If She Were Really a Psychic, She’d Have Seen it Coming

December 15, 2006

This felchingly fat fuck makes a buck off the suffering of others. Yes, they come to her willingly. But she (and others like her – yes, I’m looking at you John Edwards, and you James Van Prick) shouldn’t take advantage.