Oh My

March 29, 2007

Alternate Minimum Tax – An Open Letter to George W. Bush

March 28, 2007

Hey Dickhead-

Over here! Let me draw your attention to something. Hey. HEY! over here, shitbag.

Now pay close attention Mr. A-D-D.

Instead of helping out your pals with the bulging wallets- the rich who just wanna be richer, why not do something for the middle class, i.e. the majority of Americans- who are being screwed in the ass by an archaic, out-of-date law.

The Alternate Minimum Tax. Ever heard of it? Of course you haven’t. I’d suggest you ask one of your handlers about it, but they might tell you it’s a tax break for Americans, and you’ll believe them (just like you did about some massive weapons over in Eye-rack).

Or better yet, while you’re taking a drink and kicking back after a hard day of photo ops and talking bullshit tough, fire up the Google and look it up. Or just click on this link (here it is again in case you missed it the first time) (those mice can be awfully slippery after a few shots of Jack).

The read it- just like you would the words on the teleprompter. And think about doing something for the American people, selflessly, for once, instead of that self-dealing narcissistic shit. Hmmmkay?

And if it doesn’t make sense, ask Condi next time your at the Mayfair having a fuck.

What more proof do we need?

March 19, 2007

That war is a racket:

Occupying the hot seat through these deliberations is the shadowy mercenary company Blackwater USA. Unbeknownst to many Americans and largely off the Congressional radar, Blackwater has secured a position of remarkable power and protection within the US war apparatus. This company’s success represents the realization of the life’s work of the conservative officials who formed the core of the Bush Administration’s war team, for whom radical privatization has long been a cherished ideological mission. Blackwater has repeatedly cited Rumsfeld’s statement that contractors are part of the “Total Force” as evidence that it is a legitimate part of the nation’s “warfighting capability and capacity.” Invoking Rumsfeld’s designation, the company has in effect declared its forces above the law–entitled to the immunity from civilian lawsuits enjoyed by the military, but also not bound by the military’s court martial system. While the initial inquiries into Blackwater have focused on the complex labyrinth of secretive subcontracts under which it operates in Iraq, a thorough investigation into the company reveals a frightening picture of a politically connected private army that has become the Bush Administration’s Praetorian Guard.

Other rackets:

He Also Shot J.R.

March 15, 2007

Wonkette runs down the list of offenses that Khalil Sheik Mohammed has admitted to executing against American ‘interests.’

How THAT got left off the list I have no idea.

The rumor that he was behind Anna Nicole’s baby is just that.

The attack of the Jonbenet Ramsey clones

March 12, 2007

and with the help of Beelzebub– I mean Disneythese parents are creating tomorrow’s little Frankenstein’s.

“Cynics note that today’s princess phenomenon got its start about six years ago, when Disney Consumer Products decided to gather seven of its female heroines — from Cinderella and Snow White to more can-do gals like Mulan and Pocahontas — and package them as a separate line called Disney Princess. The brand proved incredibly successful. Sales rose to $3 billion globally last year, from $300 million in 2001. Recognizing a winner, Disney now produces a mind-boggling 25,000 Disney Princess items, from lip balm to totes to DVDs.”

That Disney has long been a corrupting influence on our youth is worthy of a treatise (another time!). But essentially their business model has been to cannibalize or steal (license!) parables, remove the nasty bits (that teach valuable life lessons in the form of cautionary tales), neutralize any realistic archetypes, and puree into a sweet and sticky fantasy without any challenge.

Then, cash in and leave children the poorer for it all. Fuck you all very very much.

Disney? Cynical? It’s a fucking corporation you beyocthes, wake the fuck up!

The sad part is, when these girls finally wake up to the truth- that they area not princesses, that they are not beautiful (Nooo!), and that there will be no Prince Charming, they’ll have only their mothers to thank (where are these children’s fathers?) and commiserate with (Men!).

“She would say things like, ‘My voice isn’t pretty like Ariel’s,'” Kinsey says. “The same thing happened later with Snow White. She would say, ‘I want my hair to be dark like Snow White; I want my skin to be white like Snow White.’ I’d never heard her say anything to the effect of ‘I don’t measure up’ before, and it really bothered me. For some reason, with these princesses it became about her self-image, and that was really disturbing to me.”

Hey-ho! Hey-ho! Nothing a little cosmetic surgery can’t fix-ho!

Finding out there is no Santa Claus might be a small disappointment to most American children, but finding out you’re no princess- after years of being lied to by parents as they treat their daughters like one- is a rude awakening only our frienemies deserve.

It’s a witches brew. So suck on that, beyotches.

The brothers Grimm are turning in their graves- or maybe not. Maybe the can see their next fable: a dark and foreboding story about how a little girl was raised all her life by her parents in the suburbs to be a princess, only to… see! it writes itself!


March 6, 2007

Outsourcing has become another way to enable cronies to take the money and run. Walter Reed is just the latest example, where sub-standard care has made the UD a laughing stock. A nation with all of the resources, and puts it veterans (support the troops is the hue and cry used to shut us up) through something akin to the black hole of Calcutta.

There are too many examples to list. We can look at “no bid” contracts, the phrase which pretty much tells you it’s a plum ripe to be picked. Or “cost-plus” contracts, which easily (and quickly) become runaway trains because the more the contractor spends, the higher their compensation.

And of course you have Halliburton, et al soaking us for all they can, and because of the embargo on freedom of information (which is a cleverly cloaked under of national security), any question you or I might ask about accountability are easily dismissed as “anti-patriotic” – whatever that means. “Don’t you trust your government?”

Uh, no.


March 6, 2007

I can taste the bile in the back of my throat after reading this. Ugh.

I feel like I want to puke. I am certainly squirming uncomfortably in my chair.


I’m trying to figure something out here.

Is Chris Matthews gay for Bush?

No that’s not an oxymoron, but the transcripts from that infamous “Mission Accomplished” day out for Clueless boy can make even the most die hard conservative (private citizen, not pundit who’s livliehood depends on being in a constant state of refutation) squeamish, in light of all that’s happened recently.

MATTHEWS: Let me ask you, Bob Dornan, you were a congressman all those years. Here’s a president who’s really nonverbal. He’s like Eisenhower. He looks great in a military uniform. He looks great in that cowboy costume he wears when he goes West. I remember him standing at that fence with Colin Powell. Was [that] the best picture in the 2000 campaign?

I mean, c’mon.

Methinks it’s time for a nationally collective re-reading The Emperor’s New Clothes.