Wanted: Scapegoat

Your mission, if you chose to accept it, is to run the show in Iraq and Afghanistan, in the newly created position of Imperial War Czar. Take ownership, champion a “win-win” scenario, manage the conflict with an eye toward eventual military “success,” and optimize/utilize funding streams downline.

In your new position of “War Czar” you will deflect “flak” from upper management and meticulously micro-manage each and ever aspect and optimize the benefit to our shareholders and contractors.

You must be willing and have the capacity to suspend belief about the overall organizations seeming inability to succeed at “war,” while paying lip service to traitors who cannot possibly understand the big picture in inoffensive and non-confrontational ways.

You will have at your disposal a public relations entity very well lubed, with supporters/cheerleaders selectively planted in the ranks. If you can utilize these resources well, your long tenure is assured.

You must possess the requisite mental aptitude and positive attitude necessary to multi task in a multi-org environment (a third region will be awarded to you very soon once you have passed the required probationary period) then please send your resume to:


President Dick Cheney
White House
Washington, DC, 01010

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