Fuck-up of the Month

July 27, 2007

What happens when you are 24 years old, have a credit card, access to online trading accounts, and lack the crucial personal integrity gene?

Why yes, that’s right, you create a website to guilelessly tell the world about your (self-inflicted) misfortune of having over $300,000 in unsecured debt, beg for donations, mislead and mischaracterize your predicament so that you appear as victim not perpetrator, then cross your fingers and see how far you can ride this bull (-shit) until you have to absolutely, positively declare bankruptcy.

Jobs a good ‘un!

UPDATE

Runner-up
We have this fucktard sister-in-law of a fucktard ex-waiter who became a real estate agent with hopes of becoming a land baron by cornering the real estate market in (a-HEM) Bakersfield, CA. She is three million in debt and counting, and other family members currently vie with each other for their chance to be named our next Fuck-up of the month. Be sure and watch the viddy.

Stay tuned!


Fuck These Fucking Fuckers

May 19, 2007

InfoUSA we’re calling you out, motherfuckers. Why?

InfoUSA advertised lists of “Elderly Opportunity Seekers,” 3.3 million older people “looking for ways to make money,” and “Suffering Seniors,” 4.7 million people with cancer or Alzheimer’s disease. “Oldies but Goodies” contained 500,000 gamblers over 55 years old, for 8.5 cents apiece. One list said: “These people are gullible. They want to believe that their luck can change.”

Sniff sniff. Sniff sniff. Nah, doesn’t pass the smell test with me. How about you?

InfoUSA, there is something seriously wrong with your business model.

This is yet another country that has taken out a contract on Americans.


We Are Them

February 17, 2007

It has just occurred to me that citizens of this land of ours who subject themselves to airport security scrutiny do so much as Palestinian laborers do when entering sectors in israel.

We’re fricken ‘guest workers’ in our own fricken country, fer chrissakes.

And what about those terror alerts? Are they still in use? Did anybody pay attention to them then? In retrospect, they were pretty fucking useless, I think we could all agree, and served no purpose whatsoever.

And what is with the FDA cutting back on the number of inspectors of our food supply. Are they being redeployed? Looking for mad cows, perhaps, or avian flu birds?


One Way to Loot the Treassury

January 19, 2007

Hire this little mother of an adminsitrator to head the GAO (General Accounting Office). Lurita Alexis Doan wants to cut the GAO’s oversight budget, so when the coast is clear she can let her fuck buddies sneak in the back door, overcharge us, leverage more work for her cronies and let the small fry who believe in competition and fairness hang out to dry.

Cronyism is richly rewarded! Join today!


Out of Sight, Out of Mind

January 16, 2007

Johnnie M. Burton: a crony’s crony and willing submissive (handsomely remunerated! now bend over beyotch!) for the oilgarchy running Washington (and oh, the entire country)(Anyone else noticing paralles between the USA and that other purported democracy, the USSR Russia?). They’ve been terrifically successful quietly integrating their street soldiers into the bureaucracy, in order to get at the prize. Now they have access, they can loot the Treasury and the wealth of this nation, as if it’s their own personal piggy bank

It was surely savvy to have forged connections in order to participate in the grand looting fest going on right under our very noses. With absolutely no oversight, this country should be wealth free (unpaid oil leases, a half trillion in Iraq, Katrina carpetbaggers, etc.) in no time!

So Johnnie M. Burton failed to renegotiate some contracts because they were initiated by a previous adminstration. They had cooties!

Plus, her friends will stand by Johnnie M. Burton in this troubled time, keeping her away from illumination because she’s a blood sucker.

And as ignorant young fools men enlist because they can’t get a good job and (having been braiwashed) wrongly believe that it’s the right thing to do.

Just remember one thing: there are many Bushes of enlistment age, but the only uniform you’ll see any Bush wearing will be around Halloween.


Cold Warriors Suck Ass

January 7, 2007

Rumsfeld, Cheney, Kissinger et al are still fighting the cold war— in Iraq.

Just one small problem: the ‘enemy’ isn’t.

This confilct is a guerilla war and, as in Vietnam, the cold warriors are, once again, getting their asses kicked.

That this current strategy will lose is plainly obvious to all, except to these dinosaurs.

Meanwhile, the leadership of the opposition has successfully executed a very capitalist notion: find a niche or weakness and exploit it.

To the max.

Instead of fighting them, maybe they should consider giving Osama a medal for showing the US how to fix their cognitive leaks.

Instead, leadership on this side of the conflict just keeps trying to enlarge the hole.

Is that batshit crazy or what?

Unfortunately this executive administration is asleep at the wheel (HELLO – WAKEY WAKEY – hmmm, the lights are on, but nobody’s home). Oblivious, they continue to hit the food pellet button, unable to comprehend how they’re slavishly fulfilling their own peculiar neuroses.

Repeating the same mistake, over and over, is certainly what their benefactors desire. Daddy Warbucks is more than happy to pat Clueless and Adamant on their back, whispering sweet nothings like “the US is they best equipped force in the history of the world,” and encourage further forays out into the center ring.

But when you get your ass handed to you, c’mon already. How many times does it take to see your benefactors sitting there on the sidelines trying to maintain a straight face, fools?

Is someone needing to take a gnarly shit?

Fighting terrorists with ‘technological marvels,’ conceived during a different time and place- and all too late for the that party- is proving futile.

The proof is in the fact that the US and other ‘allied nations’ are simply losing against these highly mobile, unseen, and adequately outfitted (an AK-47 costs $50, a pair of night goggles about $2000) terr-uillas.

That’s the result when the American electorate isn’t informed enough to elect leaders who are at least clued in. Having leaders who are more comfortable resorting to violence instead of intelligence, and fight fire with fire, is comparable to being led by (Stalin, Lenin, Hitler, take your pick).

Soon, the nation they were elected to serve, could end up the same way, if the electorate doesn’t wake up to the facts and do more than elect a slim majority.

Even the media networks which love to kiss-ass cheer like extensions of the administration speak about ‘terrorists’ as if they were convetional forces (“Al-Qaida’s man in Iraq” ) in an attempt frame it all in terms they can understand (i.e. a conventional war), the reality- “a misadventure with unforeseen consequences-” being far too complex for such small minds.

The Clueless adminstration has failed to live up to it’s responsibility to the public it serves, and at the public’s considerable expense (the Bushes and Cheney’s et al should be receive a big invoice for our trouble).

Perhaps Iraq was little more than an excuse to use up supply in order to manufacture anew to fill the pipeline- at outrageous expense. It’s easy to be cynical about motives, when there were so many outrageous lies and miscarriage of justice to underscore the deceit and mischief.

Certainly those the profit by the war are savvy enough to keep their profile low, hide behind the curtain of patriot, and while everyone’s looking at the diversion they’ve created, busily line their pockets because they’vere managed to fabricate their own private key to the treasury.

They’re all so really good at making shit up, and Americans are so accustomed to a steady diet of shit.


Oopsy

November 22, 2006

When the armed insurgents attack your house and break down your door, if you are a 92-year old woman, what can you do?

Use the shotgun your grandaughter gave you.

If you’re part of a narcotics team executing a night-time raid on a suspected drug den, make fucking sure you have the right house.

Can’t wait to see if they give these assholes officers a medal.